finishing things

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Hey, everyone. Thanks for tuning in. Today I

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want to talk about finishing things. I am, as of this

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morning, within very easy reach of finishing something.

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Specifically, I'm in very easy reach of finishing the Hindi

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course in Duolingo. Now, before you get all impressed, it does

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not have five units like so many Duolingo what courses do it has

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two courses, two units. So it's less impressive than it might be

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if I were finishing Oh, I don't know Scots Gaelic or Welsh. But

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do you know how long it's been since I've really finished

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something and felt like it was tied up well with a bow? Do you

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know how long it's been since I've had a sense of completion,

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like yes, that was finished the way I wanted it to be? I don't

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get to finish things in my life, usually. I usually leave in a

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hurry with toilet paper sticking to one shoe, as I rush out the

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door. I've had more breakup-driven moves than I care

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to count. Times when I thought I could trust that we were going

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to stay and figure it out. And that didn't turn out to be the

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case. So often, as an intensive, I lose interest 80% of the way

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through a project. I get to 80% and I can see the ending, I know

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how it could end, I know that it will end, I know that I could do

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it. And it's not interesting anymore, the puzzle is gone. The

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challenge and novelty has worn off. It's tarnished and faded.

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And my brain has already moved on to the next interesting

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puzzle, which is completely unrelated and does not lead to

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finishing this puzzle. And that happens over and over and over

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again so much that in my business, I highly recommend

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this, I hired somebody to do the last 20%. Because by the time

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it's at the last 20%, I can explain what needs to happen.

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And it's not creative work. It's not particularly interesting

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most of the time. And so I just want someone else to finish it,

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I just want someone else to put it together and get it out

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there. Sometimes it does require a little of my input and then

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the process is slow as molasses. I still do it eventually. But it

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might take forever. And meanwhile, I'm busy doing other

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things, more creative things, things that are more

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interesting. Now, there's a whole judgment in our world

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about, about how we aren't supposed to do that. How it is

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undisciplined and undignified and un-un-un-un. That we are not

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enough that we are not good enough that we are not, we're

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not adult enough that there's somehow some valor in being

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willing and able to do the boring stuff to finish a thing.

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Guess what? There isn't. There is no moral superiority in doing

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the boring stuff to finish a thing. In fact, if the thing is

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not needed in the world, if it is purely pleasure, there's no

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moral superiority at all. If you want to have a stack of

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unfinished projects and objects, that's what we call them in

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knitting and crocheting and most of the craft world UFOs-

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unfinished objects- if you want to have a stack of UFOs that

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reaches to the ceiling, because you don't actually care if they

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get finished, you can do that. Do you know how many yard sales

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have unfinished needlepoint and knitting projects in them? I

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hear that some places even have swaps, where you can go and pick

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up somebody else's unfinished thing that they're no longer

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interested in because they are process people they're

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interested in the doing of it. But once the doing of it has

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been substantially completed, they're no longer interested. I

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myself have a sweater that I've been knitting since 2009. It has

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a somewhat complex and sordid history and there are reasons

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why it's hard for me to pick up that have nothing to do with the

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knitting itself. But also I just haven't put my sights on it and

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decided that finishing it is its own project. Which is, by the

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way, the secret, if you're an intensive, to finishing things

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is to make the entire finishing process into its own project.

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Allow there to be enough time between most of the project and

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the end of the project that finishing the project feels like

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a whole new project. And then you pick it up and you can get

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20% and 20% and because this isn't theoretical physics,

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eventually you get done. Eventually you get like 80%

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takes you almost all the way there, and then you do 80% of

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the remaining 20%, then you do 80% Of the remaining 20%. And

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then it's like, come on, just do two more stitches, and this

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whole thing will be done.

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Also, I like to make friends who like to weave in the ends,

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because I'm terrible with all those little bits of yarn or

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thread, in sewing, that hang off clothes. You'll notice if you

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see me wearing my homemade clothes, that often there's a

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dangling thread from my cuff and another from my waist because I

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didn't bother to go back and tuck those threads in. I will

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eventually. But again, it might take forever. And I have to

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remember that it matters because that's not the part that matters

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to me. What matters to me is that I spent hours and hours and

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hours, days, months, in the case of the Banyan project, figuring

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out how to make this garment. Because sewing and knitting,

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they're three-dimensional geometry and physics. And if

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like me, you're very sensitive to the textures and the weights

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of fabric on you, sometimes there are also other kinds of

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ephemeral arts that allow you to find a thing that you can wear

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that also looks the way you want it to look. I have reset now the

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sleeves on the Banyan three times. And I may have to set

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them again because there seems to be a wrinkle somewhere.

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Fortunately, fortunately, the sleeve is not integral to any of

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the rest of the process. Even if I put cuffs on the sleeves as I

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intend to do, finish the ends, round out the hem. If I decide

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that this sleeve is bothering me too much, I can clip it out and

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sew it back in at my leisure. One of the sleeves is doing

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fine, the other one not so much. But see this Banyon project was

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conceived with the idea that I would make the one that I'm

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making now as a wearable muslin, refine my pattern, figure out

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the fit-which I have done-and then once I figure this one out,

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the idea is... was? is? that I will buy ornate fabric and make

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myself one that makes me feel absolutely glorious. Because

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beige, donated, IKEA curtains just aren't cutting it. The

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other option, of course, is that I could embroider this one by

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hand except that embroidery is not my art. And that feels like

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an insurmountable amount of embroidering. I'm less

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interested in decoration than I am in shape and form. So because

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I'm less interested in decoration than shape and form,

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and because I have the intensives 80% problem, I don't

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always finish things easily. So when I'm looking at this Hindi

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course, and I'm about to finish it. Now I know they're probably

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going to add more on at some point like they did to the

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Portuguese course and then I will be behind instead of ahead.

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And that's fine. Because I would like to see the Hindi course

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built out. But meanwhile, I will finish it, I'm going to finish

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something and I am excited and unaccountably nervous about

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finishing things. And I feel like this is kind of where we

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are in the pandemic, where we're not sure about finishing things

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because the pandemic carries on-much as we wish it would not.

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BA.5 is incredibly contagious. And now we have monkey pox to

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contend with. And no, it's not just an STI. And when we

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confront all of those realities, it feels like we're never going

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to finish this project. Not only has this turned into a group

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project that we're failing because most of the group

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refuses to do the work. But now we're also in a group project

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where they just keep adding pieces to it and we've never hit

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the finish line. And the problem with that, for all humans but

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especially intensives, is that the finish line is where the

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dopamine is. Having nailed it is where the dopamine is. Knowing

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that you absolutely got it so right is where the dopamine is.

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And as we get older, we know we can't expect that dopamine from

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everything all the time. But we need some of it some of the

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time. I literally started working on my Hindi and Duolingo

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again after years of not because I needed dopamine and because I

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wanted to talk to my grandmother, but at least 50% of

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my consistency with Duolingo has been the dopamine. I'm just past

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120 days. And I think I've used two streak freezes, which means

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that's a real 120 days-ish. I just keep showing up because my

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brain needs it. So

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in the middle of all of this, and as business owners where

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we're constantly pivoting, we're constantly trying to figure out

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what COVID's next move is, what the economy's next move is, what

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are we going to do to support ourselves and our employees and

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our clients? How are we going to keep ourselves moving? And our

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heads above water? And how are we going to make sure in the

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midst of all of this, that we ourselves don't burn out?

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Because it's not just us relying on us. Although even if we were

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that would be a good enough cause.

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And the answer is to deliberately find things that we

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can do well, and to completion. And it doesn't matter what it

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is, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. Coloring Pages. If

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you like coloring, do coloring pages. If you like walking,

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walk. There's one route that I walk and when I walk it, I feel

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like I have done my walk. And I use that to feel like I'm doing

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something. Dishes. Do all your dishes, and then wipe down the

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sink. Even if the rest of the kitchen is a complete disaster,

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mine often is. Set a timer for five minutes of something,

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anything, and then just do that thing for five minutes. It

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doesn't have to be complicated. But it does have to give you the

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sense that you are capable of finishing something because

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that's what I'm realizing as I come to the end of this course.

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And I'm actually like, "Okay, that's it that I can't keep

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doing this." It's not like I'm choosing to stop at this point.

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I cannot keep doing this because there's nothing else to do. So

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now from this point of completion, I have to choose

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what my next path is, do I hire an Indian tutor? Do I start

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studying with a different app? Do I go back to Rosetta Stone

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and see if they've improved their phone interface enough for

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me to use it? They probably haven't. What is it that I need

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to do so that I can continue to grow in this, because I have

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completely outgrown the tool I was using. And that sense of

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standing at the end of the path and looking forward is

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remarkable. We don't often get to stand at the end of the path

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and look forward like that. Especially in business,

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especially in entrepreneurship, especially in the middle of a

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pandemic and climate change and all the other things that are

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happening in the world right now. It's very hard to get that

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"Okay, that's behind me, now what" feeling, but we need to

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have that, we need to build that up in ourselves. And we need to

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invoke that for ourselves. So that we can get some

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perspective. And so that we can be nourished because as

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intensives, that's where our nourishment comes from. It's

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ironic because the 80% problem says that, we get to 80%. And

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then we're less inclined to do the remaining 20%. But the real

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sense of satisfaction, the real like, oh yeah, I can do this, I

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can trust myself I can. I can change things in my world, to a

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state of completion- that comes from the actual 100%. It can

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come from 100% that you've hired someone to finish for you. It

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can come from 100% that you swap with somebody else. It can come

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from 100% in any one of a number of ways. But we need to create

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that sensation, that experience for ourselves so that we know

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that it's possible. So that not only do we get the biochemical

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hit that we get from that, but also so that we trust each other

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and we trust ourselves. The more things I finish, the more trust

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I have in myself. The more trust I have in myself, the more able

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I am to take on creating solutions that we don't think

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are possible. Thanks for tuning in.