what is an intensive?

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Is this you? Everyone tells you, "You're too

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much". Everyone is afraid to tell you, "you're too much." you

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get super excited and super into the things you're into. And

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everything else, you couldn't care less. You go like hell and

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you rest like the dead.

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You get really, really excited about a hobby or an interest or

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a practice or a thing. And then after a while, it's just not

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interesting anymore. Your jobs are great for the first eight

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months or so. And then you know all the things you need to know

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to do your job and you're not into it anymore. And you get

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bored and fidgety or you stop giving it your all and next

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thing you know, either you're quitting or you're fired. And

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then you start the cycle over and you don't exactly know why

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it was a perfectly good job. You started your own company, maybe

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because you did that one too many times. And now you just

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wish you could do the thing that you love to do. And hand off all

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of the fiddly bits that you hate. You hate the fiddly bits

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in general, except the ones that you really, really get

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satisfaction out of getting exactly exactly right. Speaking

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of exactly right, you need to have exactly the right tools.

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And by exactly I mean, the right pen, the right color, the right

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paper, the right ink, the right breathing, the right music, the

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right chair, the right table, everything has to be right.

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Anything that's not quite right irritates you. Like the sound of

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the refrigerator. You might have a diagnosis for autism or ADHD

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or both. Or you might not. You might read those things a lot

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and think "I'm sort of close maybe kind of, but not

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entirely." When you meet the right person, you click and you

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can talk for hours. But there are all these awkward silences

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and other social spaces where you don't know quite why, but

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you seem to have said too much again, oh no. Are you are being

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direct and clear, and the other person is offended because you

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were a little too direct or too clear. When you need to rest you

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lie down, stop thinking about it, do

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not engage, do not engage, do not engage until suddenly, one

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day you wake up and you have a fully formed idea in your head.

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And so you go go go and nobody knows where it came from. So

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they all look at you. Like maybe you're not making the best

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decisions all the time. Other people like you trust you, want

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to go with you, want to jump ship to fly with you. Everyone

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else wonders why you can't be more responsible, can't be more

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steady, can't just show up and do the thing like everyone else.

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Either, you are so brilliant that you started a company and

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sold it for millions or you are so brilliant that you keep

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hoping that you will sell a company for millions or that

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your idea will take root because it will change the world when it

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does. Or you're really, really struggling or some combination

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of those things. You may have built the life that you thought

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you were supposed to build. And it's not quite working for you,

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you may have built the company that you thought you were

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supposed to build. But everyone keeps getting mad at you. And

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the culture is kind of wonky. And you can't really figure out

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why. Or you built the perfect company for you because you had

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to because it was the only way you could survive. And now the

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problem is you can't be everywhere at once and how do

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you replicate you in enough different places to keep your

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company running? Maybe you hired, like me, one VA to VA red

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VA blue VA and it took you a while to recognize that perhaps

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you didn't need the kind of VA that everybody else needed. You

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needed someone who could do different, who could do more,

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who could keep up with you, but still be steady in a way that

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you're not. So you eventually found them but it took you a lot

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of time and money and energy and maybe you're afraid of

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replicating that with the rest of your team or maybe you have

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already replicated that with the rest of your team or maybe

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you're afraid that this wonky tied-together-with-fishing-twine-and-spit

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raft that you've made is going to fall apart as it starts to

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scale and you're not sure what to do to make sure that it

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doesn't do that. Maybe you love what you do. You love with a

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passion, the ideas or the software or the service you're

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providing. And you don't know why everybody else doesn't love

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it too. They say they do. But speaking a language that makes

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other people want to buy it is the thing That makes you tear

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your hair out. Probably a lot of people think that you're really

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interesting and a little bit eccentric. And some people think

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that you're trying to show off, those are the people that you

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have learned not to try to make friends with, because they just

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get angrier, the more interesting you get, but you

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can't help it, you're interested in almost everything except the

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things that are completely boring that you can't be

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bothered with. And when you're interested in something, you

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just go deep diving with it. And then you become kind of an

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expert, not really, not like,

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maybe you go to school for it, but probably not. Because how

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could you go to school for that many different things. So

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instead, you just keep learning, and keep growing and keep

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becoming, and you keep integrating all of that stuff

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into your brain and into your work. Which is why when somebody

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needs a solution for a problem in a crisis, you have the

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solution in your pocket already, because you were thinking about

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that three nights ago when you were laying there trying to fall

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asleep. And now you have a solution have formed, ready to

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be fully formed in the space that it needs to be fully formed

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in to solve this problem right off the bat. And so everyone

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loves you in a crisis, but then they wish you would just tone

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down and shut up a little bit, so that they could go back to

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their normal undisrupted life. But the fact is that you have

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discovered that you are a disrupter everywhere you go. And

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that is what makes you brilliant. And that is one of

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your favorite things about you. And you just wish you could

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spend more time with people who think that too. And someday,

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you're gonna lead or you are leading. Or this is someday and

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you are at the helm of something that is bigger and brighter and

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bolder than you ever thought it could be. And you're super

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excited. And you still know you're right in that way that

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you always know that you're right, even when everybody

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thinks that you're wrong, that kind of knowing that you're

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right, that pisses people off. But also they have learned that

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you are usually right when you think that you're right. And so

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you are a little too sure of yourself sometimes. And

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sometimes that means you fuck things up really badly. But most

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of the time what it means most of the time, what it means is

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that you're able to go places that nobody thinks anybody can

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go. Because you know the connections, you can feel them

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in your bones and blood, you know how this is part of that.

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And that is part of everything, and everything is part of you.

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And you link it all together and you create something new,

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something wonderful, something beautiful. And now the key is it

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has to fit into a world that isn't used to that much beauty,

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that isn't used to that much boldness, that isn't used to

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that much you. But you are enormous. You take up star

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fields. And that is the way it should be. That is the thing

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that you have to give the world, that is the thing that we,

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intensives, have to give the world. And so we keep trying,

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even when it's hard, even when it's frustrating. Even when we

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fall into deep swaths of depression, that feel like

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they're gonna swallow us in their waving. And then we find

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that spark again. That little hope, that idea that nobody has

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ever had before we're pretty sure or if they did, they didn't

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manage execute it like this. And we get going again, we start

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again, we begin again because that, that is what we do. That

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is how we do. More ideas and more ideas and more ideas and

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possibility, and a little bit of fertilizer, and we become the

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plant that reaches for the sun

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That's what an intensive is. And that's why I love us. Thanks for