Episode 39
what is an intensive?
Let's talk about what it means to be an intensive. And why we need and love intensives.
Are you an intensive? Take the SIEF assessment and find out. (Or, if you already know you're an intensive, find out how much of an intensive you are.)
https://intensivesinstitute.com/assessment/
Mentioned in this episode:
When I was a kid, I used to dread going to school every single morning, I'd get a little bit sick. And honestly, I thought it was normal. So when I grew up and started going to work, and it kept happening, I thought that was normal too. And it was a long time before I found out that that's not in fact, normal. And then I started my own business, and I figured that the problem would probably go away. Yeah, spoiler, it did not go away. People are unpredictable, and they bring all their emotions with them into the business relationship. And we bring all our emotions with us into the business relationship. And that, that's the part that made me nervous. Wouldn't it be great if everything was just a little more predictable? Wouldn't it be great if you could like guess better what people were going to need or want or what was going to make them mad or what was going to make them happy? With executive coaching based on the Sinha Intensives-Expansives Framework you can do that. We'll help you find just a little bit more of that predictability by understanding what your people want, what your people need, and what makes them feel good. You can better anticipate their responses and meet them where they really are, negotiate better, serve them better, and grow your business better. For more information, book a call at intensivesinstitute.com.
Transcript
Is this you? Everyone tells you, "You're too
Leela Sinha:much". Everyone is afraid to tell you, "you're too much." you
Leela Sinha:get super excited and super into the things you're into. And
Leela Sinha:everything else, you couldn't care less. You go like hell and
Leela Sinha:you rest like the dead.
Leela Sinha:You get really, really excited about a hobby or an interest or
Leela Sinha:a practice or a thing. And then after a while, it's just not
Leela Sinha:interesting anymore. Your jobs are great for the first eight
Leela Sinha:months or so. And then you know all the things you need to know
Leela Sinha:to do your job and you're not into it anymore. And you get
Leela Sinha:bored and fidgety or you stop giving it your all and next
Leela Sinha:thing you know, either you're quitting or you're fired. And
Leela Sinha:then you start the cycle over and you don't exactly know why
Leela Sinha:it was a perfectly good job. You started your own company, maybe
Leela Sinha:because you did that one too many times. And now you just
Leela Sinha:wish you could do the thing that you love to do. And hand off all
Leela Sinha:of the fiddly bits that you hate. You hate the fiddly bits
Leela Sinha:in general, except the ones that you really, really get
Leela Sinha:satisfaction out of getting exactly exactly right. Speaking
Leela Sinha:of exactly right, you need to have exactly the right tools.
Leela Sinha:And by exactly I mean, the right pen, the right color, the right
Leela Sinha:paper, the right ink, the right breathing, the right music, the
Leela Sinha:right chair, the right table, everything has to be right.
Leela Sinha:Anything that's not quite right irritates you. Like the sound of
Leela Sinha:the refrigerator. You might have a diagnosis for autism or ADHD
Leela Sinha:or both. Or you might not. You might read those things a lot
Leela Sinha:and think "I'm sort of close maybe kind of, but not
Leela Sinha:entirely." When you meet the right person, you click and you
Leela Sinha:can talk for hours. But there are all these awkward silences
Leela Sinha:and other social spaces where you don't know quite why, but
Leela Sinha:you seem to have said too much again, oh no. Are you are being
Leela Sinha:direct and clear, and the other person is offended because you
Leela Sinha:were a little too direct or too clear. When you need to rest you
need to rest completely:lie down, stop thinking about it, do
need to rest completely:not engage, do not engage, do not engage until suddenly, one
need to rest completely:day you wake up and you have a fully formed idea in your head.
need to rest completely:And so you go go go and nobody knows where it came from. So
need to rest completely:they all look at you. Like maybe you're not making the best
need to rest completely:decisions all the time. Other people like you trust you, want
need to rest completely:to go with you, want to jump ship to fly with you. Everyone
need to rest completely:else wonders why you can't be more responsible, can't be more
need to rest completely:steady, can't just show up and do the thing like everyone else.
need to rest completely:Either, you are so brilliant that you started a company and
need to rest completely:sold it for millions or you are so brilliant that you keep
need to rest completely:hoping that you will sell a company for millions or that
need to rest completely:your idea will take root because it will change the world when it
need to rest completely:does. Or you're really, really struggling or some combination
need to rest completely:of those things. You may have built the life that you thought
need to rest completely:you were supposed to build. And it's not quite working for you,
need to rest completely:you may have built the company that you thought you were
need to rest completely:supposed to build. But everyone keeps getting mad at you. And
need to rest completely:the culture is kind of wonky. And you can't really figure out
need to rest completely:why. Or you built the perfect company for you because you had
need to rest completely:to because it was the only way you could survive. And now the
need to rest completely:problem is you can't be everywhere at once and how do
need to rest completely:you replicate you in enough different places to keep your
need to rest completely:company running? Maybe you hired, like me, one VA to VA red
need to rest completely:VA blue VA and it took you a while to recognize that perhaps
need to rest completely:you didn't need the kind of VA that everybody else needed. You
need to rest completely:needed someone who could do different, who could do more,
need to rest completely:who could keep up with you, but still be steady in a way that
need to rest completely:you're not. So you eventually found them but it took you a lot
need to rest completely:of time and money and energy and maybe you're afraid of
need to rest completely:replicating that with the rest of your team or maybe you have
need to rest completely:already replicated that with the rest of your team or maybe
need to rest completely:you're afraid that this wonky tied-together-with-fishing-twine-and-spit
need to rest completely:raft that you've made is going to fall apart as it starts to
need to rest completely:scale and you're not sure what to do to make sure that it
need to rest completely:doesn't do that. Maybe you love what you do. You love with a
need to rest completely:passion, the ideas or the software or the service you're
need to rest completely:providing. And you don't know why everybody else doesn't love
need to rest completely:it too. They say they do. But speaking a language that makes
need to rest completely:other people want to buy it is the thing That makes you tear
need to rest completely:your hair out. Probably a lot of people think that you're really
need to rest completely:interesting and a little bit eccentric. And some people think
need to rest completely:that you're trying to show off, those are the people that you
need to rest completely:have learned not to try to make friends with, because they just
need to rest completely:get angrier, the more interesting you get, but you
need to rest completely:can't help it, you're interested in almost everything except the
need to rest completely:things that are completely boring that you can't be
need to rest completely:bothered with. And when you're interested in something, you
need to rest completely:just go deep diving with it. And then you become kind of an
need to rest completely:expert, not really, not like,
need to rest completely:maybe you go to school for it, but probably not. Because how
need to rest completely:could you go to school for that many different things. So
need to rest completely:instead, you just keep learning, and keep growing and keep
need to rest completely:becoming, and you keep integrating all of that stuff
need to rest completely:into your brain and into your work. Which is why when somebody
need to rest completely:needs a solution for a problem in a crisis, you have the
need to rest completely:solution in your pocket already, because you were thinking about
need to rest completely:that three nights ago when you were laying there trying to fall
need to rest completely:asleep. And now you have a solution have formed, ready to
need to rest completely:be fully formed in the space that it needs to be fully formed
need to rest completely:in to solve this problem right off the bat. And so everyone
need to rest completely:loves you in a crisis, but then they wish you would just tone
need to rest completely:down and shut up a little bit, so that they could go back to
need to rest completely:their normal undisrupted life. But the fact is that you have
need to rest completely:discovered that you are a disrupter everywhere you go. And
need to rest completely:that is what makes you brilliant. And that is one of
need to rest completely:your favorite things about you. And you just wish you could
need to rest completely:spend more time with people who think that too. And someday,
need to rest completely:you're gonna lead or you are leading. Or this is someday and
need to rest completely:you are at the helm of something that is bigger and brighter and
need to rest completely:bolder than you ever thought it could be. And you're super
need to rest completely:excited. And you still know you're right in that way that
need to rest completely:you always know that you're right, even when everybody
need to rest completely:thinks that you're wrong, that kind of knowing that you're
need to rest completely:right, that pisses people off. But also they have learned that
need to rest completely:you are usually right when you think that you're right. And so
need to rest completely:you are a little too sure of yourself sometimes. And
need to rest completely:sometimes that means you fuck things up really badly. But most
need to rest completely:of the time what it means most of the time, what it means is
need to rest completely:that you're able to go places that nobody thinks anybody can
need to rest completely:go. Because you know the connections, you can feel them
need to rest completely:in your bones and blood, you know how this is part of that.
need to rest completely:And that is part of everything, and everything is part of you.
need to rest completely:And you link it all together and you create something new,
need to rest completely:something wonderful, something beautiful. And now the key is it
need to rest completely:has to fit into a world that isn't used to that much beauty,
need to rest completely:that isn't used to that much boldness, that isn't used to
need to rest completely:that much you. But you are enormous. You take up star
need to rest completely:fields. And that is the way it should be. That is the thing
need to rest completely:that you have to give the world, that is the thing that we,
need to rest completely:intensives, have to give the world. And so we keep trying,
need to rest completely:even when it's hard, even when it's frustrating. Even when we
need to rest completely:fall into deep swaths of depression, that feel like
need to rest completely:they're gonna swallow us in their waving. And then we find
need to rest completely:that spark again. That little hope, that idea that nobody has
need to rest completely:ever had before we're pretty sure or if they did, they didn't
need to rest completely:manage execute it like this. And we get going again, we start
need to rest completely:again, we begin again because that, that is what we do. That
need to rest completely:is how we do. More ideas and more ideas and more ideas and
need to rest completely:possibility, and a little bit of fertilizer, and we become the
need to rest completely:plant that reaches for the sun
need to rest completely:That's what an intensive is. And that's why I love us. Thanks for