Love on Expansives: SIEF series vol. 1

Leela Sinha: 00:00:01

Hi, everyone, thanks for tuning in. So today

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I'm going to explain a little bit about the SIEF, the Sinha

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Intensive-Expensive Framework, which I reference a lot, but

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don't talk about a lot here. I'm going to change that. Because I

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think it's important to understand the basics in order

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to understand some of the underlying principles to what

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I'm talking about. So the SIEF is a spectrum description of

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people's behavior. It describes levels of intensity, at one end

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are the intensives. And at one end, or the expansives. I

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invented this framework. I developed it starting in about

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2014. And in 2016, I published a book about it. It's called

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"You're not too Much." It's available on Amazon and through

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Ingram press. So the question is, what is an intensive?

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Intensives are people who are super intense. Go Go Go. Rest

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rest rest. Go Go Go. Rest rest rest. Disruptors, creatives,

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all tend to be intensives. So if that's you,

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I'll talk more about intensives later, but I talk about

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intensives a lot. And what I want to really focus on today,

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I'm trying to keep myself down under 10 minutes, is expansives.

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expansives are the other end of the spectrum. And expansives are

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the ones who are calm, collected, steady. They're the

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ones who are reliable, who have a tendency to do the same things

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and to prefer to do the same things over and over again.

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Expansives do not need novelty. Expansives do not need

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revolution. Expansives do not necessarily want novelty or

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revolution. Samwise Gamgee is an expansive. He spends the entire

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trip driven by duty, which is very expansive. Traveling with

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an intensive, Frodo is definitely an intensive. But he

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keeps saying "I don't think this is a good idea Mr. Frodo."

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Expansives like to see data. Expansives like logic to explain

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why they're doing what they're doing. But if you give them a

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system, and you say this is your job, please do it. Here are the

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steps, they will just sit there and do all the steps, in order,

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fairly happily, unless it's actually making them miserable.

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But just having to do the same thing over and over again,

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doesn't usually make them miserable. Yes, they can be

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creatives is one of my favorite painters is an expansive. But

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they don't need this like driving knife edge of novelty

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that so many intensives do. And they don't seek it out. They're

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not as attached to adrenaline. They're not as attached to

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opening up vistas and discovering things that nobody

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else has discovered before. They're happy to be like

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somebody else did that work. We all know what's happening. Now I

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know what's happening, that's great. And just work with that.

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They're not, they're not always questioning, they're not always

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disrupting, that's not what expansives do. Expansives are

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happy to just dig into what's there. Expansives do not

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necessarily have a life passion. Expansives like comfort and

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satisfaction. And routine. An expansive's life dream might

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literally be to have a fence around the yard, to own a house,

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to mow a lawn, to take the kids to whatever soccer or ballet or

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whatever. And then to stay home and watch TV. Like that could be

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an expansive's dream. And that's the whole dream. There's- it's

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not like there's more. And there doesn't have to be more, right?

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For intensives it's hard for us to conceive of a life that

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doesn't drive towards some kind of giant vision or big

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transformation. But for expansives really that

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satisfaction, that comfort, that routine, that predictability,

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that safety is what they crave. And because of that intensives

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and expansives work really well together. Because intensives are

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often driven by all that novelty and all that revolution and all

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that transformation and expansives are like, you know, I

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don't need to transform I could just keep- keep, this is fine.

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Like there's no real reason for me to change. Expansives are the

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ones who just, you know, buy the next computer when the old one

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wears out. And that's it. They're not interested in the

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shiny new toys. They don't care about the new technology. They

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just want a computer that works. They will never stand in line

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around the block waiting for a midnight release of anything.

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Unless it's really important to someone else in their life like

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their kid or their spouse, and they're trying to be supportive

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of their kid or their spouse. That's that duty drive.

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They're driven by duty not by novelty, not by revolution. Not

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by discovery. And because they're driven by duty, it's

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really easy for us to have some challenges with them. But that's

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because when you're driven by, by passion and inspiration, it's

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hard to imagine anything else. And for them, they're like, I

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don't understand why you can't just settle down and be

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satisfied with what you've got. We see this in, in Hamilton, the

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conflict between Alexander Hamilton and Eliza, his wife,

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where Hamilton is like, "I gotta go, I gotta do things I'm

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writing all the time." And she's like, "why do you write like

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you're running out of time? Why can't you just be here and be

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happy to be alive and be with me and have kids and like, just be

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satisfied." But, you know, his inability to do that, is

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foreshadowed at the beginning, when he tells Angelica, that she

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will never be satisfied, he's never satisfied. And that

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tension is set up not just between him and Angelica, but

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also between him and his life. And between him and his wife.

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Because his wife has a very different experience of life,

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she just wants some peace. She just wants some stability, she

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just wants happiness. And he wants everything. So if you have

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someone in your life, who is expansive, if you're a business

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owner, and you need to hire an expansive we- we often find that

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we need expansives on our teams. Expansives to help us stay

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grounded. Expansives to help remind us that we have to finish

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the task that we started. Expansives to help us think

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through the full ramifications of what we're about to do.

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Expansives to give us some balance, to give us some

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steadiness, some stability, some ballast in this ship that we're

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driving into high winds. It's really easy for us to get

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impatient, but instead we can stop and really appreciate what

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they have to offer us. Whether they're our business partner, or

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a life partner, or a kid, like somebody who's like, you know

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what, this, this could be sufficient. We don't necessarily

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want that in our business, we're not ready to settle, it's

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generally not a good idea to settle, especially in the early

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stages. But this could be sufficient. This could be

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sufficient. It's a good thing to keep close in your heart and to

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keep close in business as we're working in business. And to

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really appreciate rather than becoming impatient and

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frustrated with somebody who wants to see the data, who wants

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everything lined up, who doesn't want to start before everything

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is prepped and ready to go. These are the people who in a

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commercial kitchen will put the entire mise en place in place

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before they start cooking as opposed to those of us who like

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start throwing stuff on the stove and turn on the gas and

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then oh yeah, I should probably grab some of that stuff and like

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prep it and chop it. I actually think that's why sous chefs are

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so important because sous chefs and prep chefs and like the

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other kitchen staff are so much better at making sure that

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everything is ready so that when the chef turns around and needs

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to grab that thing that thing is right there. It's been put in

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place. So so if you are an expansive with intensives, know

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that we appreciate you. And if you're an intensive with

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expansives, take the time to really appreciate who they are

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and how they change your life. So if if you know an expansive,

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tell them thank